Michelle Pellizon: On Creativity, Motherhood, and Embracing a More Relaxed, Yet Deeper Perspective on Life
Motherhood, creativity, and... managing a million moving parts? It's all in a day's work for the brilliantly dynamic Michelle Pellizzon. She's a business owner, artist, thinker, and now, a mom—a role that's both transformed and enhanced her creative world.
In this conversation, we dive into the not-so-tidy realities of balancing art and life, ditching perfection, and figuring out how to make space for everything when life feels like an ever-shifting game of Tetris. Get ready for honesty, humor, and a generous dose of "it ain't that deep" wisdom.
If you’re new to Michelle’s work, she’s a writer, creator, and the founder of Holisticism, a digital platform that makes well-being more accessible by bridging the gap between the mystic and the realistic. She also continues to launch new and successful projects like Spacies, Cosmic Valley Girl, and more.
I had a blast asking Michelle about her inner world and the ideas fueling her latest iteration of selfhood and career.
KM: How has becoming a mother changed your creative process?
MPL: Well, I think it’s really hard for me to talk about motherhood because I feel like I am sort of reducing it down and it sounds trite. I also wasn't that interested in motherhood before I became a mom. When I listened to other people talk about it, I just couldn't relate to it. So I feel conflicted sometimes when I want to share about being a parent and how much I love it and how it's a transcendent experience, even though it's disgusting sometimes it's really hard and all the things, but I almost don't really know how to talk about it. And this is, sorry, this is a little expositional, but I just think that collectively society doesn't really make space for people to be parents and have dynamic identities outside of parenthood.
And that is partially just the structure, social structure in place when someone is a caregiver. If you are forced to be a full-time caregiver because childcare is really, really, really expensive and that's the best option for your family, then that means, yeah, you're doing that 24/7. You are a caregiver 24/7. And oftentimes that falls on women. And oftentimes that means we reduce them down to that singular identity of being a parent because there's literally no time to do anything else or space to do anything else because we just don't have the social programming to allow mothers or parents who stay at home to do anything. But so anyways, I'm just saying all this to get it out there that I am probably not going to eloquently talk about this because I think there are a lot of dynamics at play and I don't talk about it very often because I don't know how to talk about it. Does that make sense?
KM: Totally. I mean, there are so many different ways you could even take that question. It's like how do you manage your time? How has it altered the brain space that you have to be creative?
MPL: Totally. There's so many different ways it could impact a person, And obviously it's different for everyone, and I'm not an expert at it. I've only been doing this for almost two years. That's like no time. And I think about that constantly, too. When someone says they're a parenting expert and they have two kids. I'm like, well, you've just done it twice. Your experience is valid, but I mean it worked for you with those two variables. That's it.
Anyways. So there's a lot of complicated feelings there. Obviously, I was really scared to have a baby because I run a business and I'm a pretty dynamic person, I would say. And I was like, well, it's going to happen to me. What if I just want to be a mom? And that's where I want my focus and attention to be? What about all these other things that I love about myself? I've been pleasantly surprised for many reasons. Just the experience is amazing.
Number one, I'm really lucky. I have an amazing partner. So that makes me feel very supported in the process of being a parent and also running a business. I have a really supportive family and I have a very supportive career at this point because I can kind of do what I want. So we split our time watching Rhodes. My husband is with my son right now. I started working at eight and I'll be done at one. Then I'll be with Rhodes until my husband gets home at six. We put him down at seven and then I can work after that. So that's not everyone's experience. It's extremely privileged to be able to do that. And it works for us right now, and who knows how long we'll continue to do it, but that's where we're at.
I didn't really know when I became a mom how I was going to feel. You know that things are going to change, but you don't know what you don't know. You don’t know if the center of your universe is going to change because for some people it does. And for others it seems like it maybe impacts them less and that's totally fine.
So when I had Rhodes, I was really surprised by the fact that my whole relationship to work really changed and I just really wanted to be with him. So it made me get even more streamlined and focused and almost brutal with my values and how I wanted to spend my time and what my priorities were. So it had to be worth it for me if I was going to be away from him. And that has changed my creative process because I actually realized that creativity is even more important to me. That is always a good use of my time in my opinion, versus sending emails is not always worth the squeeze for me. It's just not.
Given the way that we care for our child, my time is more bifurcated. So where I used to be the type of person who could literally sit down at their computer as soon as my eyes popped open and work for 13 hours straight if I was really excited about something, I just can't do that anymore. And that's probably a good thing. Instead of bemoaning the fact that I don't have deep work every day, or it's very challenging to get that six-hour window of time to work on something, I'm trying to just embrace the fact that good things can happen in disruption too. I can work on something in five-minute increments. I can work on something and be distracted and it can still turn out, and I can also just allow myself to work more slowly to let things bloom and settle and come back to them when I'm ready to. And that's pretty different from how I've traditionally accelerated quickly through an idea or a concept and almost extinguished it on rocket fuel or something. And now I feel like I'm moving at a more, I don't know, natural pace maybe. And that's cool.
The other thing I think about all the time is just that this is a short period of my life where my child will be this young and where he will need us as much as he needs us. In three years he's going to be in school all the time and I will have a lot more time. And so I think that changes my creative process too, where I feel less FOMO or I feel less anxiety about not getting things done. Before I got married and before I had a baby, I felt like I had to do these things before XYZ happened. If I wanted to have a gallery show, I needed to make sure that happened before I turned 30 or before I had a partner or before I had a baby. And I feel like I almost got an escape hatch with having a kid. Where the escape hatch opened the possibility of being able to do things on a different timeline. It was always possible for you to do it at any time, and you might do it when you're 50 or 70 or 89, or you might do it in a month. Nothing's holding you back from it. Maybe the application or the strategy is a little different, but that doesn't mean that ultimately what you want is out of reach. It's only out of reach if it was a requirement to do it by a certain age, and that's stupid, in my opinion. That is stupid. That is a stupid reason to be like, well, can't write my book because I’m 30 now. That's kind of silly.
KM: There's so much in there. And also, I feel like it can be summarized by this sense of relaxation. You’re relaxing the timeline, and relaxing needing to have perfect conditions for your creative work. You can work in five-minute increments. You've matured into this version of yourself who can handle so much more.
MPL: I think it also refocused my work as capital W work. My projects are not the be-all end-all. The only function that I require from them is change. I just need them to change me in some way. It could be that they make me a better artist or they help me see the world differently, or they give me some experience that I've never had before or they help me earn more money. This perspective helps me because I don't see things in finality the way that I used to. If I was going to, let's say, do a painting, it had to be the best painting I'd ever made. Now I'm just like, well, this is just a stepping stone to the next painting, so let me get the most out of this process that I can and learn something and reflect on it. If I'm doing my best, I'm not always good at that, but at my optimal, I think that's the goal. And then I'm going to take that into the next thing because that also makes it worth it. It helps me makes sense of that time that I spent doing that thing.
So if I'm moving mindlessly through the world, just trying to acquire, let's say, let me give you a proper example. I think painting might be a good example. So if I'm just doing paintings and I'm trying to do five a day and I'm not really thinking about how the process is developing and I'm kind of doing the same thing over and over and I'm stuck before, I might've been able to justify that and be like, well, I'm just stuck, whatever, or I'm making the same thing, or just not thought about it because what was most important was the amount I was producing.
Now I'm like, okay, well if I'm going to spend five hours painting and not with my kid or with my husband or whatever, then how is this progressing me? Even if it's challenging me or even if I don't really know how it's progressing me, but I'm willing to wrestle with it. That is the point. So I think that probably the biggest shift in my creative work and my creative practices. Everything feels like it leads to the next thing, and that's the most important part of it. It's not accomplishing it or getting it done. It's just ‘this moves me in a direction.’
KM: That whole definition of creativity, of creativity as a portal that forces you to learn something new about yourself or the world. It's that growth piece. It made me think motherhood is an act of creativity. Meeting yourself as a mother; you've now birthed a new version of yourself, as well as human life. It is so funny to me: I often put creativity as opposing motherhood. It's interesting to realize motherhood is an act of creativity.
MPL: I totally felt the same way. And I think there are a lot of books about how to be a creative parent and how to make time for your art even as a parent. All of those are super helpful to read and useful perspectives. But before I had a kid, I was so worried that it was one or the other, and I was also worried that people were going to either see me as a mom or they were going to see me as a creative or as an entrepreneur or whatever. And now at this point, I'm like, oh, I contain everything. I can't be whittled down into one of these identities or prioritized into one of these identities. But outside of me, someone might do that and that's okay. I'm actually totally fine with that right now because I just don't see myself as one thing. I don't see myself as a mom. That's who I am. I don't see myself as an artist. I don't see myself as an entrepreneur. I’m all of those things combined.
And it's not even that they all work together to make me better versions of that. They just are. That's just how it is.
That's another sort of common phrase or idea that, oh, motherhood makes you a better entrepreneur or motherhood makes you a better creative. And I don't even know if better is the word that I would use. I think it just offers you a different perspective. Yeah, that's my experience. I think for some people, they’ll say being a mom made them figure out how to balance more things, or made them a better entrepreneur. So that is super real for many people out there.
KM: It reminds me of the idea of capacity. You're just holding more, you've grown, and now your capacity to hold all these different identities and responsibilities has grown.
MPL: And in the same vein, it's almost like a plate, and there are only so many things that can be on the plate. So I think I've crowded out some of the stuff that is no longer important to me. Or it's not something that I have the space to worry about. There are other things that I'm focused on and I only have so much attention and time.
KM: That fits perfectly with the next question I wanted to ask you. You talked about the idea of simplifying on your Off the Grid interview. You mentioned stepping back from managing people, and simplifying your business. Now that you’re on the other side of simplifying, what has that taught you about life and business? Is it addictive? Does it make you wonder ‘how else can I simplify?’
MPL: That's a good question. I think, no, it's not addictive. What's addictive is adding things onto the plate. To me, what's addictive is busyness and feeling important. And every time I push something off, I'm like, but can we add this other thing in? My eyes are bigger than me.
So I wish that simplifying was addictive and I just had white space and free space, but alas, I don't think I'll ever be that type of person. And I just kind of have to embrace it, like, okay, that's who I am, but hopefully I can add more things that are truly exciting to me on my plate rather than things I think I should do. But that's going to be a lifelong process, I'm sure.
The simplification is easier when you know what your priorities are. You don't have to know what your priorities are when you're in your twenties. For me, I needed to test things out and reflect: what really matters to me? What continues to show up in my life. What do I consistently really feel strongly about, and why?
I'm sure that my priorities will also change as I age, and I live more life, too. Or when I’m forced to be resilient or endure trauma, that also is a clarifying factor. My husband has a terminal illness. He has brain cancer, and that is a forcing function where I have to be like, okay, when he dies, will I regret that I spent time doing this versus spending time with him? Or will I be like, no, both were really important. And that kind of sucks because it's pretty morbid, but it does ask me to be honest, and even still, I find myself trying to float back into busyness and not prioritize, and then I'm sort of forced to confront the death thing. I don't know if that's a helpful answer. I hope no one is confronted with their partner's mortality, but I guess inevitably, we all are. It just isn't probably as top of mind for most people as it is for us.
KM: Yeah, that’s really potent. While it’s hard, morbidity is also a function of prioritization. Most people live in this clouded sense of life where nothing forces importance. But if you are forced to think about morbid things daily, you do think about your time differently or how you want to spend it, and what's most important to you. It also reminds me of the phrase you often say about not taking things too seriously. For example, you’ve pivoted a lot in your career and spin up new projects all the time. There’s something there about your ability to be creative, but also resilient. You’re willing to allow even your brand Holisticism to evolve. There’s been many different iterations of Holisticism leading up to what it is today. I think your combined perspective of holding morbidity as a forcing function of prioritization coupled with knowing ‘it’s not that deep’ has helped you evolve to levels that most of us hope to reach one day.
MPL: Oh yeah, it ain't that deep. It really isn't. It's not that deep. It's not that serious.
KM: Have you always naturally had that philosophy, or did you have to learn it and teach yourself?
MPL: I still have to say ‘it ain't that deep’ to myself all the time because my instinct is to make it so important. And I have to go: It's not, fucking chill, relax. My instinct is to be all or nothing and either/or and good/bad. That's kind of in the DNA of who I am. And that's why reminding myself ‘it's not that deep’ is helpful. There's always a more creative way to get what you want. There's not just one way. I have to constantly call myself back in, and that's probably why I'm so passionate about talking about it with other people because I need to constantly be reminded of it, and it makes my life so much better when I do remember that.
But yeah, I think that we can take this conversation in a lot of different ways. I think the most interesting people are people who have changed over their life, who have changed their minds, who have not siloed themselves into one space or area. I think that that is the type of life that I want to live where I can say, yeah, I've been reviewed in the New York Times as a dancer and started a tech company and I've become a mom and I've, I don't know, took a sabbatical and I wrote a book or whatever the thing, I've started podcasts. I think I just want to do things that are interesting to me, and that's maybe where all the pivots come from because it's not really interesting to me to do the same thing for my entire life. And that could look like the job stays the same. I do Holisticism for 20 years, but it's so consistent there that I'm able to do surprising things outside of that work.
KM: It's a breath of fresh air. I think a lot of people with personal branding, including myself, are wondering how to make sense to people. You're a good example of rejecting the norm of needing to fit in just one category like ‘podcaster’ or ‘artist’ or ‘business owner’ or ‘spiritual woman.’ We all naturally have a ton of versatility. I love that you're constantly stretching yourself to learn new things. For example, with Spacies, you decided you’re going to learn D2C and create a Shopify store. For one, all of your new projects uplevel your skill levels. But two, I think you become more magnetic to your audience. They're like, “What is she up to?! I want to figure out what she's doing next.”
MPL: I'm happy to hear you say that. Sometimes I wonder if people are like ‘this bitch is crazy. This girl is all over the place.’ That's too funny. There are probably people who think that, but to your point, some of the people that I admire the most are always up to something new. They follow that philosophy: ‘never let 'em know your next move.’ And I’m wondering what they’re doing next. FKA Twigs is someone I really admire. She recently created a workout program for a company. I was like, wait, she was just dancing with the Martha Graham dance company, and then she has this amazing music career and she's a writer and she's a curator, and now she's doing exercise stuff and she does pole dancing. I love that they contain multitudes. All of your different projects provide new context to your work.
And again, that context helps me prioritize and figure out ultimately what is most important to me. What is the truth of my life, and how can I always be orienting toward that? So yeah, learning new skills and trying new things and failing just helps me level-set and be like, oh, okay. That wasn't as bad as I thought, or that was actually really cool.
I came to realize in my late twenties was everything that I said I would never do or I never wanted to do, I ended up doing and loving. I never wanted to move to LA, I was like a ride-or-die New Yorker. I was like, you're going to have to kill me. If you want me to move to LA, it'll be my body that you carry there.
And then I moved to LA and I was like, wait, this place rocks. And that happened to so many things. I never thought I would go work in a tech company and that I would like it. And so I kind of gave myself that rule of, anytime you say you would never do something, you're probably going to do it. So you should probably be a little bit more careful of what you say you're not going to do. And also maybe what is the lesson there? The thing that maybe scares you or that you're like, I don't get that. Maybe that's something to chase a little bit more to just investigate and be like, hmm, do you actually not like it, or do you just not understand it? Or do you just not know it yet?
My mentor, Ivy Ross, is such a good example of someone who's done a million things. She is an artist. She had a jewelry line, she was the CEO of Eileen Fisher. She is now the director of design at Google, and she created the Google glasses. And she is also a total spiritual guru. She's amazing. And I think about her a lot in terms of the compromises that she's made and the experiences that she's had, and just the breadth. Her experiences all coalesce, and they might not make sense on paper, but through the lens of her, they do. And through the lens of her personal knowledge, it all goes together. And so I realizes I can do that, too.
KM: I have so many thoughts that this brought up for me. One, there's the idea of personal brand versus building a brand, and it's like, well, ultimately your personal brand can just carry you throughout your life on all the different waves that you ride. And then other brands are just projects that tuck in and out of your career.
MPL: I have a visual I can show you if that's helpful. Okay, so this is my personal website:
KM: This is so cool.
MPL: Thank you. And that is literally how I think about all of this. Everything is a project. Holisticism is a project, and it's long-term project. Spacies is a project. Cosmic Valley Girl is a project. Also, my visual art is a project. My Feldenkrais practice and training is a project. My dance experience is a project, and I like thinking of them as almost these folders that are all connected to the same operating system and are in my library of resources and knowledge and information, and they contribute to each other. And the only thing that has to connect them is the fact that they’re on my desktop. So I do think about that a lot. These different categories of my life as projects.
I'm still tinkering with it. After having Rhodes, I had this realization that I have all these things and maybe I need to put them somewhere. So it's a little bit easier for people to be like, ‘What is she up to?’
KM: What an act of creativity itself to think to do it as the folders and make it a desktop. That's brilliant. Thank you. The other thing that came to mind is if you cross genres or practices, it tends to enrich your creativity. So it's probably no accident that creative people that we all love, including ourselves, ping pong across different things like writing, painting, film, just bouncing around because we pick up our creative juices and inspiration from all those different mediums. So it's really interesting that we naturally do that.
MPL: Yeah. I'm leading this cohort of people in this group called Levitation Practice, and it's basically just a research practice in creative practice over eight weeks. We talk about how we have to, number one, take in information. And then number two, we have to digest it so we have to again, contextualize it so I can do all the reading and all the research and blah, blah, blah. But if I'm not like, how do I feel about it? How does it relate to me? Then it's kind of meaningless. And I think that's why people who have ping-pong careers, they're forced to metabolize their lessons. For example, what did I learn from this last job or project? I think that is another forcing function that forces you to be like, well, what do I think about this thing? Or, huh, how does my dance career connect to my career in tech? What are the overlaps there? And the things that compliment each other are actually really antagonistic to each other. And how do I feel about that? What do I like and what do I dislike? And what might be the next thing that I want to understand about myself or that I want to test?
In Levitation Practice, we’ve talked about these points of information, like these departure points in our research process that lead us somewhere new and how to really develop our thoughts, our concepts, our ideas in a meaningful way to move the ball forward. Asking these types of questions is exactly what lets us move forward.
Michelle Pellizzon is a writer, creator, the founder of many projects, including Holisticism, a digital platform dedicated to making wellness and spirituality more accessible. With a background in dance, creative storytelling, and a passion for blending intuitive practices with practical tools, Michelle empowers individuals to explore their inner worlds while building meaningful lives. She also runs various projects including Spacies, Levitation Practice, Cosmic Valley Girl, and more.
When she’s not creating or hosting workshops, Michelle can be found delving into astrology, experimenting with her favorite recipes, or nurturing her family and creativity in all its forms.
